Party of 9 Adventures

People keep asking me what "happened to Krista" :0). I think that it's funny to have neighbors say "Didn't you used to have 3 girls?" I forget that our life is somewhat "different"and occasional clarification may be required.

After months of neuro-psychological and IQ testing, Brain MRI's, EEG's, Genetic evaluations, Autism screenings, Psychiatrist and medication evaluations, Developmental testing, Post-adoption service meetings/evaluations, etc. here's the "scoop"...

Nothing has changed as far as Krista's bonding and development. Krista's disorders are life long and cannot be "fixed", it is just the way her brain developed in utero. Here is the current list of diagnosis':

*Fetal Alcohol Related Neuro/Psychological Disorder (say that 3 times fast :0) - This can't be fixed or improved in any way, we try to control the behaviors that she exhibits with a very strict/structured schedule and meds. There are probably times that people think that we are too strict with her, it appears that way because she cannot be reasoned with... AT ALL, in her brain it's "all or nothing", things are black or white, no gray areas. The only way to stop adverse behavior is to immediately address it (either vocally or removing her from the situation). The voice tone used has to be strong and clear the first time or her brain WILL NOT register the message, with most kids this is what we lovingly refer too as "selective hearing" :0) With Krista, it is not "selective".

*Pervasive Developmental Disorder - This is an Autism Spectrum Disorder. PDD encompasses emotional development and bonding as well as academic performance. Krista has not been able to learn ABC's, counting past 3, colors, writing, coloring in the lines or drawing. She is at apprx. 2 1/2 - 3 year old level in most areas, including emotional maturity. It has been interesting to watch Hailey bypass Krista in all areas of development; Krista still throws tantrums, wets her pants and has no sense of right or wrong or consequences.

*Neuro/Transmitter Disorder - This basically means that the 2 halves of her brain do not communicate with each other...ever. There's no "moral compass", no weighing pros and cons of an action, no sense of fear or danger (she is not, and never has been, afraid of the dark, "monsters", climbing high, wandering out of familiar places, strangers etc.)

Krista hears "a voice" that talks to her, she can hear and see this person (she says it's a boy). Of course, we can't see him but she has "conversations" using two distinctly different voices. Not the "normal" (I hate that word) child imaginary friend or play conversations. There is the possibility of Schizophrenia or Bipolar disorder, but she is too young to make that determination right now.

Krista's current treatment includes, medication to "encourage" the 2 sides of her brain to talk to each other and to regulate emotional outbursts, raging, aggressiveness and "impulsivity". We are seeing amazing results with her meds, I didn't even know that there was "stuff" out there to make a brain "work better".

Krista goes to a Treatment Home every Friday and stays until Sunday, she receives more intensive therapeutic intervention than we are qualified to give. Since there's no doubt that Krista will live in a Treatment Home on a permanent basis in the next couple of years, this has been very good for her (and us). We have had to "let go" of Krista to a certain degree, since we will never be more to her than our "title" of mom and dad, brother and sister. These words have no emotional connection, they are just "titles". It has been a difficult road for us, but I firmly believe that the reason that we were supposed to adopt Krista is because my personality is such that I can "let go and detach" without completely cutting someone out of the picture. We are learning to love Krista in a "different" way than we are used too, it's been weird. The positive side of this is that Krista "doesn't care" (for lack of a better phrase). I think that if we saw any of this hurting her emotionally then we wouldn't be able to make some of the decisions necessary for her. Krista is a "happy-go-lucky, go with the flow" little girl. Her brain isn't even registering a change in address every weekend. She asks if she is "going today" (she doesn't have a sense of days or time), if I say yes, she simply says "ok". The first few weekends were harder on me than her, I almost picked her up a day early a couple of times. When I called to check on her, I was "assured" (and I think it was hard for the provider to tell me this at first) that Krista hasn't asked about us, where we are, when we are coming back, etc. Things simply "are what they are" for Krista. That fact has helped heal my heart on many occasions, even though it's hard that she doesn't miss us or even notice that we are gone.

So, to make a long story short (I know... too late). Yes, we do still have 3 daughters :0), Krista attends a full-time, private pre-school year round so she doesn't lose ground academically and she goes to a Treatment Home every weekend. We like to think of this situation as "boarding school", as if we are the loving, caring, rich aristocrats that send their children away to Switzerland for an education... hee hee hee :0) That's us!

"I'll go inside someday..."

"Once upon a time, there was a plaid overnight case..."

Andrew went to the Temple for the first time on Wednesday July 15th. My best friend Judy and Dave Ogles (our bishop) went too. (We are very sorry if anyone wanted to come with us, it didn't occur to us to invite anyone :0). I am SO thankful to my neighbor (Kathryn) for tending both Hailey and Joshua for a very long time so that I could go too. Either Cody or I stay home with the kids normally whenever we have some place to go. We scheduled Andrew's Temple time so that Cody Joe, Zach, Tia and Krista would all be at summer day camp, to cut down on babysitting "issues". It was a great day, it was very special for us to go to the Temple with our first child. Such a milestone in life, Andrew loved it (although, he had to come home and take a nap, probably due to "spiritual overload" :0).